Every Monday Fiona and I pack our bags and head out to the farm for a couple of days. If B works over the weekend, we leave on Sunday. We stay until Wednesday morning, and we leave early enough that we can spend the early afternoon with B before he heads to work.
This has been such a blessing and such a pain in the ass. Fiona is so close to her Grandma & Grampy and her aunt and cousins. She gets so excited when hit the gravel road and she knows we are almost there. She gets to play hard for two days, and it’s loud and chaotic and we make big dinners and I get to read Harry Potter to the boys at night, it’s been magical in those ways. The other night when I was putting the boys to bed and said goodnight Noah said, “Say it right!” and I was confused for a second and then realized what he wanted and I said, “Goodnight, Sweet Princes” and he said, “Goodnight Lindsey!” (Only he pronounces my name LANSEE, which is just . . . perfect)
The other thing that has been a blessing is having this time to spend with my sister. She is going through that ugly divorce, and she has needed someone to just be there. Most evenings after the kids are in bed I am too tired to be good company, but I am there, and when you are going through that kind of thing that is enough.
But . . .
It’s hard for B not to see Nonie for a couple of days, but at the same time I think he likes having a bit of quiet time to himself when he is working so much. It is definitely part of the reason I can’t seem to get a grip on my own house schedule. I just start to get in the groove of being home and then we leave again. I feel like a great mom but only a so-so wife, and I don’t like that feeling.
Our goal has been to build a house on the back field of the farm. This coming year I really want to push that goal as much as possible. There are so many obstacles that I have no control over, like the housing market. Our cute little house that we love so much, there is no way we could get what we paid for it at this point. Should we rent it? Should we sell it for what we can and live in a temporary (and very small) structure in the field?
It’s so funny to me, my whole life I have been a city girl at heart, just waiting until I can move back to the city. Now I am considering living in a tiny little barn just to be able to start building a house in the country. But if you saw my girl out there, in her rain boots and coat, watching Grandma feed the chickens and checking the garden and running in puddles, you would feel the same surge to the heart that I do. The same little voice that says, let’s give this to her.
Standing where our house will be:
Andrew and I before school:
Hanging with Grampy:
Hanging with Grandma:
Walking to get Andrew from the bus after school:
Just being silly:
Getting love from her cousins: