Day 1

1 Apr

I think it’s because I can’t have babies.

I spent this first day of my thirty-fourth year buying yarn and plotting vegetables. Making scarves and researching lettuce. I realized today that I’ve never really grown anything before. I don’t know how to do it. I’m nervous about my lettuce.

Maybe it’s the first step to babies?

It might be that I’m unemployed, or infertile or that the world seems to be shifting every day but I don’t know if there has ever been a spring so anticipated before. Or one where I have felt so maternal. I want to grow things, bake pies, knit socks . . .

I still don’t want to clean house though.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: