On the international adoption front, we were approved for all of the countries we applied for. That is the good news. The bad news is, well, the rest. The wait is so long, three years if we go with China, which has always been where we thought we would go. And the paperwork is staggering. I mean, part of me understands this, even appreciates the goal of finding good homes for children. The other part of me is incredulous, like you want me to do what? For how long? And give you how much money?
The other weird thing I wasn’t expecting is the religious aspect. The agency that I picked to start out is a Christian agency, but I never really thought about that going into it, what that really meant. The first thing that came up was that the “faith contract” that they want us to sign, which is basically a two page document promising that you believe in Jesus Christ. And, UGH SO MANY THINGS. It’s not even that I don’t believe in JC, because I do. It’s that I’m not super fond of my religion being reduced to a two page Word document. And it’s not that I’m not for contracts, because I was a paralegal long enough to know how important they are, but I don’t just enter into one willy nilly, and I certainly couldn’t even clarify something as personal as how I feel about Jesus Christ into a conversation, let alone a legally binding document.
But we looked past that and moved forward. And when I was talking to the international adoption lady she said, “Blank Adoption Agency has been around for 70 years, and we hope to be around for 70 more, unless Jesus Christ returns first.” I almost spit my drink out of my nose, again not because I don’t believe in good old JC but because my belief is wildly more abstract than that. I guess I have never thought of things that way. Which believe me, is changing, because tonight I said: I will do the dishes later, unless Jesus Christ returns first.” I know, I know, JC coming back isn’t fodder for jokes, but . . .
Anyway, I have a friend who is also going through this infertility business that left this very same agency because of their one man/one woman view of marriage. When she told me this I was stunned, like, I don’t care what they believe, I just want a baby. That probably sounds so selfish, but really universe? I have to deal with a bum uterus, the IVF debate, and now gay rights? I’ve always been a gay rights supporter, can’t I just turn my cheek once?
I of course answered that question myself. I am in the business of wanting a family. I had better make it my business to support everyone else that wants the same.
So we will explore all the agencies, and find the one that fits us best.
I knew it wasn’t going to be easy, I just really had no idea it would be so hard.