(A glass candle gets knocked over and cracks down the side.)
Him: (Inspecting it) I think we can still use it.
Me: I don’t think so.
Him: Why not?
Me: I don’t know . . .
Him: What’s the worst thing that can happen?
Me: Well, we could light it, and the glass could heat up and swell and then explode because of the crack, sending tiny shards of glass flying through the air. A piece could lodge into my temple and paralyze me. Then you would have to spend the rest of your life taking care of me just because you wanted to save fifteen dollars.
Him: Well . . . fuck.
Me: I know!
Ten minutes later:
Him: THAT CANDLE WAS FIFTEEN DOLLARS?