Don’t tell me I don’t know how to party!

17 Sep

There used to be a time when, if I found myself with $45 extra dollars, it would be $40 to um . . . “extra-curricular” stuff and $5 to cigarettes. Not so much anymore.

B was gone for twelve days recently, and I found myself with a lot of extra time and an extra $45. First of all, why is it that there is so much extra time when a husband is gone? I can see if it was kids, what with having to raise them and stuff, how them being gone would free you up. But husbands? Yet it is true. Perhaps because I can eat whatever I want, whenever I want, without the dreaded question of what is for dinner. Also there is the being able to look like Assy McAsserson all day. I mean, who cares if you skip the shower after the gym? Certainly not the dogs. (Oh my God, people! The dogs. Are killing me. More on that later.)

So back to the $45. Here is what I got:

1. Yarn (starting Christmas stuff already)
2. Ingredients for butternut squash curry soup (divine)
3. Movies (so far, major suckage)
4. Face mask, hair mask, body scrub (awesome, awesome, and awesome)

I know, right? Party at my place.

I am allowing myself the pure indulgence of not doing anything major for a couple of days because I just spent a long weekend at the farm that left me drooling I was so tired. My babymama is also out of town, and my sister and her husband babysat her kids for the week. So to recap: my nephews, ages 3 and 6, my babymama’s children ages 6 and 9 months, me, my two dogs, my sister, her husband, their dog, my mom, my dad, and their dog. In one house. Granted, it is a large house, but man. We took a lot of long walks down the country roads, wearing out the kids and the dogs. Then we made awesome dinners, fed them all, gave them all baths, put them to bed, and put in a movie that none of us could stay up for. Four kids, man. They will eat your soul.

So now I am at home, having spent my $45 on the above items, trying to relax. Because shit is about ready to start happening, and I’m terrified.

I’ve slowly been telling more and more people, and I am coming up against knowing how much to share. I am a chronic oversharer, obviously with the blog, right? But it seems different with people that aren’t blog readers, people that I used to know but don’t so much anymore. So when I am telling an old friend from high school and she asks if I will be using my egg, I flinch a little. Not for any reason other than: really? I haven’t seen you in five years, you’ve just found out that I cannot bear my own children, and you want to know her egg or mine? It seems so private. I don’t know, maybe it’s me, going back and forth between wanting to shout it out and wanting people to back up out of my uterus already.

Say it with me: Infertility, the gift that keeps giving.

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4 Responses to “Don’t tell me I don’t know how to party!”

  1. MeAndBaby 09/17/2009 at 1:00 pm #

    First of all, your writing Cracks. Me. Up! Assy McAsserson? Hilarious!

    Second, I know what you mean about the sharing. When I made the decision to try I wanted to shout it from the rooftops I was so excited. I told a few close friends and didn’t get the support I had hoped for from all of them (going the non-traditional single mother by choice route) and now that it’s been over a year, I wish I wasn’t so open. It’s quite the internal struggle wanting to share your joy and then getting odd remarks or questions -like the ridiculous whose egg is it question. Pleeeze!

    In any event, your joy is certainly shared in blogland!! Dish, dump, overshare as much as you want. 🙂

  2. carrie 09/17/2009 at 8:47 pm #

    Remeber that one girls weekend in Lincoln City? All the oversharing that took place. YIKES, but OMG I love it.

    A correction to your babymama’s kids age, Jasmine is only 4 and I guess you could consider T. Pain 10mos. His new tooth makes him look older. 🙂

    You also forgot to mention the 3 cats 2 chickens and 1 rooster that thinks it’s 6am all day.

    I had a great time. If ever there was a person who would make a good mom it would be you. I think you did more then I did this weekend and 2 of them are mine.

    Can I borrow $40 for some “extra-curricular” stuff. I really need it cause I am still at the house minus you and 2 kids.

    Your Sister Assy McAsser

  3. T 09/19/2009 at 4:27 am #

    Funny to think how we prefer to spend out time these days in compare to the “good ol ones” eh? 🙂

    I see how absolutely exhausting children are when I watch or am with others kids. I expect mine to be just as draining. That is why although I’m totally tired of waiting for this family thing to happen, I”m loving days like today.
    My hubby and a co-worker worked on building a shed out back.
    I on the other hand did some cleaning to get the upstairs set up for kiddo to come. When I wanted a break. I took it. I grabbed my book (finished 3rd in the Twilight series and started Breaking Dawn) when I wanted to. Went to the shelter to visit the animals, when I wanted to. Ate, you guessed it…when the hell I wanted to. Like you I catch myself trying to catch that relax when I can because … the storms a common. And with it, the sunshine!!
    Luvs. GEAS

  4. Papa 09/22/2009 at 10:25 pm #

    It’s hard to think party when you can’t even finish a sentence around here. You though, way to party through it. It must be even nicer to be able to go home after a wild weekend at the farm. The rest of us stood on the porch with a tear in our eye, as the questions kept coming, we watched through the dust as you drove away. Slowly we walked our aching hearts back into hell. Soon we say to ourselves, soon, we too can get away.

    papa

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