Let us list it out!

16 Oct

*Disclaimer: I am too sick to keep trying to find the grammatical errors, everything is all swimmy. If you find them, you could leave a comment and tell me. Or just judge me silently. Just don’t mix the two and judge me in the comments. I’m fragile.

1. You know what would be nice? If my immune system could do me a solid and fight off one or two germs. I just got over a cold, and went to my sisters house on Saturday and when I was tucking in my nephew he sneezed in my face. IN MY FACE. I could see the germs coming, and it was like I was in slow motion, saying, “Nooooooooooooooo!”

Flash forward to today: I’ve only gotten off the couch to get food or pee. I guess it’s a good thing I don’t work, because I don’t even think Bill Gates has this many sick days.

(I bet if Bill Gates was reading this he would be like, Motherfucker, I’ll take as many sick days as I want . . .)

(A friend of mine worked for Bill and said said that he had a whole room in house that was a gift room. It was full of presents and wrapping and goodness, so that any time there was an occasion, they could just grab a gift out of the gift room. AWESOME!)

2. Being unemployed is really hard sometimes. It’s hard to remain positive, it’s hard not to have as much money, and it’s hard to lose the tiny bit of control over my future that I once held. Also: my eyebrows haven’t been waxed since before Obama took office, I haven’t had pedicure since the wedding, and my flat iron gets no love. I fear that unemployment has turned my frumpy.

3. My babymama news is this: we are waiting. She got her IUD out a couple of weeks ago, and she wanted to start testing right away, and then she had a period, so now we are back to waiting for ovulation. I think it would have been easier to just wait a month, but I also think she knows her body and this is just one of those examples of the strangeness of me knowing A LOT about her body. My guess is, however, that we won’t have our first go at it until next month.

4. alsdkfjwoeifh elksjdnflskfjlskj eoiwmfl wekfjn woe

5. Number four was me freaking the frack out at the waiting game.

6. In more babymama news, this last weekend we went to her sons first birthday party. So her whole family was there (and mine, in case you aren’t following this soap opera closely, she is the sister of my sisters husband.) I was a bit stressed about it, because I wasn’t sure how her mom felt about it. So we are all sitting around eating pizza and the baby wants some, so I cut up some pieces and give it to him. A few minutes later her mom says to her, “I can’t believe you gave him such big pieces!” and I was like, “ummm, I did that.” and she said to my babymama, “Are you sure you don’t want to back out?’ (in a totally joking way). So while I was embarrassed that I gave a one year-old child man-sized hunks of crust, I was relieved that it was out there, and in a joking way.

7. My babymama’s aunt is a lesbian, and she has a wife and they have a baby. They were all at the party, so my babymama tells them that she is going to be a surrogate, and I don’t think she was prepared for the onslaught of questions. You know, if you tell a straight lady that you are going to be a surrogate, she says, good for you! A lesbian lady with a child says, are you going to have an IUI or try at home? Have you spoken with a home nurse? When are you ovulating? My babymama was like . . . uh . . . she just wasn’t sure how much to share. They were, of course, totally supportive and awesome and full of resources. It’s funny to me how the gay and lesbian community feel like our biggest allies in this. I mean, I called four different law offices trying to get help with how to proceed and every place I called was condescending and kind of like, ummm, I don’t think we can help you. So I Googled “gay and lesbian attorney” and called the first person that came up. The guy on the phone, not even the lawyer, was just asking me questions like it was no big thing, and I said, “Do you think you can help us?” and when he said, “Totally!” I cried. I was afraid to tell him we were a straight couple because I didn’t want him to judge us. The reason I say it’s funny to me is that I see and hear this debate about bullshit things like Prop 8, and people are always talking about family values. Trust me on this, NO ONE has fought harder for family values than the gay and lesbian community. The reason most of this is moving forward for me is because thousands of lesbian women made it happen for themselves.

8. Whew! That went from “what I had for lunch” to “let’s talk politics” really fast!

9. Changing gears, because after all, this isn’t really a political blog. I really do want to talk about what I had for lunch today. I get in these food ruts sometimes, where I want one thing constantly. B loves it, to be sure. This week it is the fabulous tomato soup with sharp cheddar and ham sandwiches. I know, you are thinking that tomato soup isn’t really, by definition, fabulous. Behold:

It started with Molly’s version, found here. When I first went to make it I didn’t have two cans of garbanzo beans, however, and had to substitute white beans for one can. I loved it! Then, because we were having it again, I made it the original way, and I didn’t love it as much, I found that it had lost some of its smoky flavor. So this time (yep, the third batch) I have gone back to the one can of white beans.

Also, because we eat a lot of soup around here, I am a bit of a soup artist. Here are my two tips:

1. I keep a big plastic bag in the freezer, and I get it out every time I chop veggies. I put any extra in the bag, and then keep it in the freezer. When it is full, I make vegetable stock. Just dump in the frozen veggies, a couple of onions and garlic cloves, and really anything else you need to use up, salt it and let it simmer on the stove for the afternoon. Couldn’t be easier, and it really makes a difference in the soups you make with it.

2. The other thing that overtakes my freezer is Parmesan rinds. I NEVER throw them away, because they are so awesome to throw into any soup you make while it cooks. It adds a salty depth to it, just another really good layer of flavor.

So the recipe then:

Just heat up some olive oil and toss in three cloves of garlic and the leaves of three sprigs of rosemary. I hold on to the stalks of the rosemary and toss it in later. Let the garlic and rosemary cook up long enough for the olive oil to carry the flavor, and then add:

3 cans diced tomatoes
1 can white beans
4 cups veggie stock
pinch of sugar
parmesan rind
rosemary stalks
salt and pepper to taste

Bring to a boil, then simmer it for at least 20 min. I don’t bother to let it cool, I just dump in all (carefully) in my blender and puree it on up, until it is all thicker and yummy and gloppy. Oh, and don’t forget to take the rind and the stalks out first!

Then just add a can of garbanzo beans and heat through! You will NOT be disappointed! You could jazz it up further, if you wanted. I added shrimp one night when the husband was needing some meat in his diet.

10. Rumor has it that Bret Easton Ellis is teaming up with Gus Van Zant to make a film based on this Vanity Fair article that had me riveted awhile back. It’s a crazy story, I thought I would give you the link so you can have something to read while you eat the soup.

What can I say, I’m a giver!


9 Responses to “Let us list it out!”

  1. Liz 10/16/2009 at 2:23 am #

    I have some comments (I am the worst blog commenter ever but whatevs, you’re bored and sick & will read it)

    1. In re: #7. Fucking right? I live in California and I take this Prop 8 shit personally. It’s the reason I can’t be friends with Mormons anymore even though they have all the best craft & decorating tips.

    2. In re: #9. When you started talking about the soup I was nodding knowingly like, “ahh, Campbells & a grilled cheese, yum!” And I was gonna leave a tip about adding arugula & tomatoes to the sandwich and then you started talking about MAKING tomato soup and then I was all, “wha? You can make tomato soup?” I bow down to your skillz.

    3. OMG Bret Easton Ellis! I used to work at a kinda fancy bookstore in LA called Book Soup and he came in once and was all kinda doughy and I was really disappointed. I need my rockstar authors & rockstar rock stars to be HARD. Also, I remember reading about that couple when they did that. I’m excited to read the article. Thanks for the tip. (You’re servicy, yo.)

    • Cath 10/16/2009 at 11:33 pm #

      THAT was some funny stuff!

    • lswan 10/16/2009 at 11:41 pm #

      All day long I’ve been laughing about how Mormons have the best craft and decorating tips. I mean, who knew?

      Also, Bret is doughy? I repel the idea! For some reason I want Bret to look like Robert Downey Jr. circa Less Than Zero.

  2. girlvaughn 10/16/2009 at 4:03 am #

    I am in awe of this post.

    and your soup.

    and Liz too.

    you women make me happy.

    • lswan 10/16/2009 at 11:43 pm #

      I know, I dig you ladies too! And you guys get to hang out and stuff, where there is undoubtedly a ton of witty commentary and super cool crafty things!

  3. carrie 10/16/2009 at 9:07 pm #

    Did she also mention that her babymama’s dad, my husbands dad, hates our dad. But not just hates him. But HATES him, like almost didn’t come to our wedding hates him. He’s a reall *%$* 0)#)) (*^hole.

    We are just going to be the happiest mixed family in the whole wide world. Loving this baby like no other.

  4. Cath 10/16/2009 at 11:32 pm #

    Happy to see you back Giver Girl!

    • lswan 10/16/2009 at 11:43 pm #


  5. papa 10/20/2009 at 10:30 pm #

    If B likes some meat in his diet, likes wild game and you like squash then you should check out http://www.icemancooketh.blogspot.com/2009/01/venison-and-butternut-squash-stew-with.html. Sounds like good times to me.

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