Keeping the faith

6 Nov

It’s hard for me to write a post today. We are in the in-between time of insemination and test taking. It is like a purgatory of sorts, and it sucks your brain up zombie style. I can’t focus on anything else. In a week, my life could be headed in a different direction. Or it won’t.

You see how this could be confusing.

It is stormy here today, I don’t think the sun ever really rose. B has been off work all week, and if we weren’t constantly wondering about a baby, we would be worried about finances. But we live two lives, sometimes. We had breakfast together, ran our errands, had a nice lunch together, watched movies, had a late dinner . . . luxurious, in a way.

I’m sitting here today, knitting while he watches sports, feeling like it’s Sunday even though it’s the middle of the week. Trying not to worry. He sees me, and says: you have to keep the faith. You HAVE to KEEP the FAITH.

It’s raining, and gray. The wind is blowing the trashcans set out for trash day all over the street. It’s hard out there, but it’s hard in here too. I don’t know what keeping the faith means sometimes.

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8 Responses to “Keeping the faith”

  1. Liz 11/06/2009 at 6:51 am #

    Every atom in my being is focused on making you a baby. Not, you know, me making you a baby. Baby mama. But still. I am working hard on this.

    • lswan 11/07/2009 at 3:24 pm #

      Thanks, dude. 🙂

  2. MeAndBaby 11/06/2009 at 4:23 pm #

    Thanks for the good luck wishes on my blog! Yes, I have been a Twitter slacker.

    I’m wishing with all my being that things happen for you and BabyMama. It’s hard to keep the faith, I know. I hope the sun has come back out and the faith has been restored if only just a little.

    • lswan 11/07/2009 at 3:23 pm #

      You are welcome, I am just so excited for you, and maybe living a little vicariously through you. Thanks for the good wishes.

  3. The Best Friend 11/06/2009 at 7:21 pm #

    I have to say, you are doing a swell job and remaining rather positive this week, even though I know, there is a lot going on in that head of yours. I am keeping the faith like an SOB. And thinking about it a LOT, counting, hoping, praying, by your side.

    • lswan 11/07/2009 at 3:22 pm #

      Thanks, dude.

  4. Sara 11/06/2009 at 10:46 pm #

    Before this river, becomes an ocean
    Before you throw my heart back on the floor
    Oh baby I reconsider, my foolish notion
    Well I need someone to hold me, but I’ll wait for something more…

    circa 1987, singing this for you today my dear! Gotta have faith!

    • lswan 11/07/2009 at 3:21 pm #

      This comment is why we have been friends for so long. xoxo

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