Surely I am not being asked to post again?

8 Nov

GAH. Please feel free to skip this.

The boys woke me up at 5:30 this morning. I had done like six Saturday’s worth of work by 2:00, and since then I’ve done nothing but knit and eat.

I’m not complaining, bear in mind. It’s storming here and I am glad to be cozy inside. BUT DUDES, it doesn’t give me a ton of fodder.

I am, however, working on a NAQ: Never Asked Questions. I think it’s going to be pretty awesome.

Also, I don’t think my babymama is pregnant this time. First test was today, and it was early, so she will take another, but it was negative.

I can’t tell how I feel about this. I guess I just felt in my gut that it wouldn’t be this time. I mean, working the first time? That is just not how our baby rolls.

Still, I’m sad. Tired. Mostly tired. When she said she would take the test, I couldn’t even look at B. I couldn’t see the nervousness in his eyes or I would have lost my shit. I had to look at things in the room, not rock my boat, stay inside my head. Then when it was no we chitchatted and then headed to the car, and as soon as we got in I said, “Fuck, dude. I’ve never been so thirsty in my life. When she went to the bathroom every ounce of saliva I had ever created evaporated” and then we did the thing that Jim Carrey does in Me, Myself and Irene when he has cotton mouth, and we laughed most of the way home.

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2 Responses to “Surely I am not being asked to post again?”

  1. Lelo 11/08/2009 at 3:27 pm #

    I’m loving these daily posts because they’re forcing you to put it out there. I’m not doing NaBloPoMo this year but it sure is fun to read those of you who are. 🙂 As to the topic of this post, eerrgh. I’m keeping fingers crossed for you. No, wait. I’m keeping my ovaries crossed for you. 🙂

    Remember to breathe.

    • lswan 11/08/2009 at 7:12 pm #

      Thank you, thank you, thank you. I mean, ovaries crossed? That’s majah. 🙂

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