Morning Commute

12 Nov

This post is from a blog I had a couple of years ago with my girly friends.

**
It took me two hours to get to work today because of stopped traffic on 26.

Here is my commuting diary:

6:45

Get in car, thinking of all the things that I will do when I get to work early. Okay, not really, thinking about the post I am going to type up re: my musings on pop music.

7:00

At Verbort road, thinking how the real bitch of a commute from FG to anywhere is the actual getting to 26. After that, it’s a breeze. (Ha! Foreshadowing! Irony!)

7:15

Getting on to 26, thinking about how much I wish I would have brought coffee, and how glad I am to have my ipod, because the commercial breaks on Howard Stern are seriously like 45 min. long.

7:20

Why are we stopping? Is something in the road?

7:21

**nose out to the side, see brake lights as far as the horizon** What the fuck?!

7:22

Leg starts hurting.

7:23

Hot guy in Chevy behind me. Will watch Hot Guy find things to do in traffic!

7:25

Hot Guy drinks out of red Starbucks cup. Oh! Hot Guy is making a phone call. Must be his girlfriend, he is smiling that way. Hot Guy has a great smile!

7:26

Oh, Hot Guy. Our affair has ended. Scowling Lady with Dog has cut in between us. I can still see your bumper though.

7:27

Leg. Hurts.

7:28

Hey, Mr. Asshat in the Toyota, I’m sorry my lane is going 3 mph and yours isn’t, don’t look at me like that! Don’t hate the playa, hate the game!

7:29

People trying to get into my speedy 3 mph lane. Lady with John Kerry sticker: through. Big SUV with Bush / Cheney sticker? Fuck you, motherfucker.

7:30

I’M IN SECOND GEAR! I’M IN SECOND GEAR!

7:30:15

Back to first.

7:45

Have you ever really looked at the side of the highway? There is trash and things, random things, like people hang out here. Who does that? If I had to walk somewhere, I would never walk on the highway. You would be so . . . on the fucking highway.

7:47

Oh, Air Supply! When you sing “the beating of my heart is a drum and its lost and its looking for a rhythm like you” and I sing along, I swear we sound the same.

7:50

Open window and hang arm out. Notice that ring sparkles nicely in the sun. Become transfixed by sparkly ring.

7:51

I have a sparkly ring, I have a sparkly ring, I have a—–

MUST LEARN TO PAY ATTENTION. ALMOST HIT KIA WITH FAT LADY IN IT.

7:51:30

Wait. I am in a Kia. I am chubby. AM I A FAT LADY IN A KIA?

7:52

Become despondent about weight.

7:53

I don’t know what is going on to make the traffic like this, but it better be major road construction. If I get up there and see some asshole stalled on the side of the road I am going to freak out.

8:00

Now officially late.

8:10

The source: a little tiny fender bender. Am positive that if I would have seen driver that it would have been someone who supported Bush.

8:10 – 8:30

FUME about Bush.

8:30

Arrive at work, half hour late.

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2 Responses to “Morning Commute”

  1. Cathy 11/12/2009 at 7:07 am #

    I remember that……it is still funny!

  2. carrie 11/12/2009 at 7:39 pm #

    OK I snort laughed at work that was so funny. I remember it too.

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