This post is from a blog I had a couple of years ago with my girly friends.
It took me two hours to get to work today because of stopped traffic on 26.
Here is my commuting diary:
Get in car, thinking of all the things that I will do when I get to work early. Okay, not really, thinking about the post I am going to type up re: my musings on pop music.
At Verbort road, thinking how the real bitch of a commute from FG to anywhere is the actual getting to 26. After that, it’s a breeze. (Ha! Foreshadowing! Irony!)
Getting on to 26, thinking about how much I wish I would have brought coffee, and how glad I am to have my ipod, because the commercial breaks on Howard Stern are seriously like 45 min. long.
Why are we stopping? Is something in the road?
**nose out to the side, see brake lights as far as the horizon** What the fuck?!
Leg starts hurting.
Hot guy in Chevy behind me. Will watch Hot Guy find things to do in traffic!
Hot Guy drinks out of red Starbucks cup. Oh! Hot Guy is making a phone call. Must be his girlfriend, he is smiling that way. Hot Guy has a great smile!
Oh, Hot Guy. Our affair has ended. Scowling Lady with Dog has cut in between us. I can still see your bumper though.
Hey, Mr. Asshat in the Toyota, I’m sorry my lane is going 3 mph and yours isn’t, don’t look at me like that! Don’t hate the playa, hate the game!
People trying to get into my speedy 3 mph lane. Lady with John Kerry sticker: through. Big SUV with Bush / Cheney sticker? Fuck you, motherfucker.
I’M IN SECOND GEAR! I’M IN SECOND GEAR!
Back to first.
Have you ever really looked at the side of the highway? There is trash and things, random things, like people hang out here. Who does that? If I had to walk somewhere, I would never walk on the highway. You would be so . . . on the fucking highway.
Oh, Air Supply! When you sing “the beating of my heart is a drum and its lost and its looking for a rhythm like you” and I sing along, I swear we sound the same.
Open window and hang arm out. Notice that ring sparkles nicely in the sun. Become transfixed by sparkly ring.
I have a sparkly ring, I have a sparkly ring, I have a—–
MUST LEARN TO PAY ATTENTION. ALMOST HIT KIA WITH FAT LADY IN IT.
Wait. I am in a Kia. I am chubby. AM I A FAT LADY IN A KIA?
Become despondent about weight.
I don’t know what is going on to make the traffic like this, but it better be major road construction. If I get up there and see some asshole stalled on the side of the road I am going to freak out.
Now officially late.
The source: a little tiny fender bender. Am positive that if I would have seen driver that it would have been someone who supported Bush.
8:10 – 8:30
FUME about Bush.
Arrive at work, half hour late.