Someone shit in my water

29 Nov

I feel like I imagine Nic Cage felt in Leaving Las Vegas, and I haven’t had a drop of alcohol. It’s all the food, a total food hangover. Am I getting old? My body is furious with me that I have had so much refined sugar and salt and fat. My fingers are swollen, my stomach is bloated, my skin is dry and I’m so effing thirsty that I’ve been pounding glasses of water all day. Well, until I got the emergency notice from the water department that there is E coli in the water and all residents should boil water for one minute before drinking it.

Yep. There is shit in my water. Someone shit in my water.

Isn’t that so rude?


6 Responses to “Someone shit in my water”

  1. Denise 11/29/2009 at 6:48 pm #

    Maybe you’ll shit out your food hangover. It’ll be like the two Thanksgivings never happened.

    (I’m trying to find a silver lining here. That’s all I’ve got. Because EW.)

    • lswan 11/30/2009 at 2:39 pm #

      This is why I dig you, right here.

  2. Windsor Grace 11/30/2009 at 2:16 pm #

    Maybe…your food hangover is caused by the shit in your water. You weren’t irresponsible at all, it is the person who put the shit in the water in the first place.

    • lswan 11/30/2009 at 2:40 pm #

      I like where your head is at! 🙂

  3. Christina 12/01/2009 at 2:49 pm #

    Yeah, I had that happen once… no fun. My water now, according to the water department, has ether in it — which, a long time ago, was used to knock people out for surgeries. Now I’m scared to take a long shower!

  4. Jessica 12/02/2009 at 2:10 pm #

    Wow. *Nice* of them to consider…I don’t know…your insides.

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