A weekend

11 Apr

Saturday we were in the grocery store and I had to buy Monistat for the first time in years, because of the bevy of antibiotics I’ve been taking. B has never really even heard of a yeast infection, so this whole thing is terrifying to him. Um, try having it!

We come to the right place and he’s like, OMG, like the whole store is going to know what he is doing. I hissed grow up at him and started looking at the selection. So I am looking at all the options, trying to figure out what I need. I saw that they had one day treatment, but that just seems like the short line at DMV, you know? I settled on the three day stuff, and then I look at the price and see that it is $17.00. I turn around holding it up and say, “SEVENTEEN DOLLARS?!” and the man standing next to me is in fact bearded like B but is most definitely NOT B. He gives me a little, “What do you do?” shrug and I pivot on my heel and storm off to find my turncoat husband, who is FIVE isles down, looking at manly things like firelogs, even though we don’t need any fucking firelogs.

He thinks it’s funny (it wasn’t) and we proceed to the checkout, where he gets in line behind the same bearded guy! I keep saying with a sideways mouth: that’s the guy, abort the mission, ABORT THE MISSION! and B looks at me with the “grow up” look. I get the “grow up” look! UGH.

So that was humiliating.

Later we had B’s dad and step-mom over, and while the boys painted, the ladies went shopping. She was on a mission, people. Shopping with her is what I imagine shopping with Chuck Norris would be like. In a matter of minutes we had two employees following us with a freight cart. A freight cart, people. Crib, mattress, bedding, changing table, high chair, toys, clothes, and wall art. She is yelling and pointing and ordering people around, and holy shit if they aren’t scrambling to do it.

I just kept following her around, gnawing on my fingernails thinking: how much is this going be? Is it bad luck to be this lucky? Oh my God, how do I make her stop? My shingles are going to come back I know it.

She kept telling the people helping us, “Oh that’s just my nervous daughter-in-law, never mind her and load this high chair! ISN’T IT JUST DARLING? HAVE YOU EVER SEEN ANYTHING AS CUTE? Now, listen: is this dishwasher safe?”

It was crazy, and it felt . . . out of control. I go from pure joy to reminding myself to temper the joy, to reminding myself to stop doing that. Everyone keeps saying how hard it will be once the baby gets here, and I am positive that it will be. But this last three years and specifically this last four months, this is hard.

Today we finished the painting and we are washing the new blankets and new clothes and just feeling blessed. We keep just standing in that room, looking around, being amazed that this is happening.

Later we will watch a movie and I will go through the four bags of clothes that The Best Friend brought over. I will make brownies and do laundry, and I will be grateful for every single second of what may seem like an ordinary weekend. Minus the whole Monistat thing, of course.


4 Responses to “A weekend”

  1. T 04/11/2010 at 10:52 pm #

    Damn funny about the Monistat thing. laughing still. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    I know that standing in the room feeling. Chad and I have been having those moments too a lot lately because we keep making progress on the kids room.

    We’ll be putting a bed together, or hanging curtains then it falls silent and we look at one another and need not say a word. Because after the years of wanting to get here, here is creeping up on us. It just reminds us the world IS a beautiful place and life IS grand, even when it’s hard.

    I will say that the “Just wait till you have kids” and “It’s going to be hard” comments suck when in our shoes huh? lol I mean it’s not like anyone says it to be mean it really is just one of those things “people say” I think.

    Like when you chat with someone you haven’t seen in ages and it’s are you married? do you have any kids? You don’t? OH JUST WAIT TILL YOU HAVE KIDS…. lol As if I hadn’t thought that kids will cost money, be a pain in the butt, sleep deprive me, be needy little creatures and drive me crazy? ๐Ÿ˜‰

    The thing is, THINKING of having a kid has been about 30% of my brain almost daily for 6 years. That thinking isn’t only about how the hell and when the hell this will happen. It’s also about; fighting in grocery store lines, tantrums in restaurants and other public places of course!, a house of constant noise and more laundry and crap to clean up than seems possible.

    Do you see people interact with their kids in those situations and think WTH will I do in that situation? I do and then I’ll notice I’m on a 35 minute think tank about my incognito mosquito kiddo again. lol

    I know there is plenty I haven’t even thought of and I won’t think of until I’m put in the position. I know that we’re in for a “bumpy ride” and I think that’s all that the “they” are trying to say when they give us those standard comments. Because simply, they’ve already had to face it.

    My favorite part of the “just wait till you have kids” I think is going to be experiencing those moments that you see other people have with their children. There are many but my favorite ones are moments like when a child is looking the parent in the eyes for help with something small like reaching something just out of their grasp. The look between them when Mommy or Daddy has accomplished the help needed. It’s that split second that I see between children and their parents all the time that I can’t wait to have. And if it has to come with, bed wetting, time outs and tantrums I’ll take it gladly!

    We’re pretty lucky we’ve got the people we’ve got around us. I mean although most can’t understand what we have been through and still go through, they all are our strength in a lot of ways too!

    And as always … it’s been great having my Spoiled Eggs and Spam around too!

    Thinking of you, B and your little Bean often!


  2. Amy 04/13/2010 at 1:46 pm #

    Have so been here/there before. Laughed so much at the Monistat part. I once bought some condoms in a nearly empty store but of course as soon as I got to the checkout counter a cute guy stood next to me. The cashier asked if I wanted a bag. I turned all shades of red and said, “yes please”. The guy was really nice and commented, “better safe than sorry”. Argh!

  3. amie 04/22/2010 at 9:32 pm #

    Really like the way MIL shops & operates! Enjoy every one of these little moments, it is what you have been waiting for. If there can be any positives anywhere in infertility is that when it IS finally resolved and you have that little baby, you are so much smarter than the avg bear & know to savor & cherish every diaper, gurgle, sleepless night in the rocker, spit up, etc. And let me tell you that first REAL smile from the baby- you know the one where it def isn’t gas but bc they def know YOU are their Mommy, will take your breath away.

  4. dashleysteele 06/05/2010 at 1:28 pm #

    Update this bitch.

    (Note: Should not be read “Update this, bitch.” I left out the comma for a reason.)

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